So it's Wednesday, Hump Day, in the second week of classes of the fall semester. Feels like we're already a month into the semester. It's been the usual business of locker and key checkouts, and scheduling changes and so on.
Recently I put a profile back up on the Facebook Dating site, having been absent from there for several months. I don't get a lot of hits there. I've heard from various women that they tend to get a lot of hits. Sometimes dozens every day. I can't imagine being that inundated with electronic messages from strangers desperately reaching out into the virtual world grasping for some personal attention. But yet here we are, and that's the world we live in it seems. Still easier yet somehow harder than the old days when I grew up, before internet and cell phones and all of this technology that brings us closer together while simultaneously strangling us with an abundance of external stimuli.
I've dated a few people here and there over the years, nothing over a few months in duration, and the most recent being just shy of two months. Nothing has really worked out, and that's okay. Not everyone will be an ideal match. You meet people, get to know them, try dating, have some good times...and after a time realize you're not the most ideal match. So you move on and keep your eyes (and your phone's browser) open to see who might come through the revolving door next. I've come to believe that I'm looking for something more casual at this stage in my life. Not casual in the sense that I want to date a lot of different people (who has time for that?). But casual in the sense that I'm not convinced I'm ready to give up all of my free time - and the autonomy of my life - to any person. Except perhaps my son, he'll always be number one.
Of course maybe it's just I haven't found the right person yet, maybe the right person will inspire me to want to give up my free time more. Certainly the ones I've dated in years past were not quite the right person, for I was not inspired. Not enough. Is that why we keep trying, looking for "the one"?
But on the other hand, it's nice sometimes to be able to come home after a long day at work and not have anyone to answer to. Well, except the cat. And my son, every other week anyway.
As I sit here at work pondering such things, and having long since finished the afore-mentioned donut, I've suddenly had an epiphany. Right now, I miss that donut more than I miss any of those I've dated and lost. Is that sad?
