Walking In a Winter Wonderland

So I've just returned from a three-night sojourn to South Lake Tahoe. Sort of an end-of-semester getaway, to celebrate another completed school season and take a needed break from the extreme busyness of the last few weeks.

It was not the trip I expected.

Of course, booking six weeks ago, who could tell what the weather was to be like? I had originally considered going back to San Francisco, to my usual go-to decompression destination. But the hotel rates were higher than I wanted to pay. So I thought, why not Tahoe? I hadn't been there in awhile, and it's full of nature and beauty. And fresh, clean air. So I went. And it snowed.

It was like being in a Christmas song, waking up each morning to a winter wonderland of snow. So unexpected for late May! I was fortunate to be driving up there in between the unseasonably late storms, so the roads were at least clear. And actually it was sunny and clear for the first full day, so I made use of the time and took a drive up the eastern shore of the lake, stopping to hike around Spooner Lake and to explore the incredibly beautiful Sand Harbor. Both of which were new to me, and picked simply by virtue of being a little dot on a map from the rack of brochures at my hotel.

After that, it was cold. And the world was bathed in white. But I liked it. I didn't grow up around snow, and frankly have spent very little time in it. None, really, as a child. Though winter stories always painted pictures of it. I walked through gentle flurries, caught snowflakes on my tongue. Just like a holiday tale full of wonder and nostalgia, though for me a first time experience. It was nice. It was beautiful. It was a photographers paradise. It almost felt like Christmas. A Christmas I never experienced.

I decided to let myself live a little, which is a fairly rare prize for me to offer to myself. I took in a comedy show. And a magic show (that was more comedy than magic). I dined at a different location for every meal. I bought cookies and chocolates and had more than a dozen cups of cocoa (the hotel had free cocoa in the lobby; what a dangerous thing to offer). I did no fast food, only sit-down dining experiences. To rest, I read by the balcony window of my second-floor hotel room while watching snow gently float down unto the boughs of trees and the ground below. I bought presents for my son, who was back in Sacramento with his mother. I gambled a little, at three different casinos, and came out $23 ahead overall (which for me is quite a lucky streak).

It was a nice trip, full of explorations and experience. It was also a little lonely. As trips these days can be.

But now I'm back home, and tomorrow it will be back to work. Though, at least with the semester finished it will be quiet. Tranquil. In that way not unlike my little vacation. But without the 30-degree temperatures.

But when I look out the window tomorrow, the winter wonderland will not be there, beckoning to me. If I take a walk it will still be through a forest, of sorts, but without the satisfying soft crunch of snow beneath my boots. But maybe I'll close my eyes and remember what it was like to walk in a winter wonderland.

Closing Show

It's nice sometimes just to sit and marvel at the beauty of the world. I'm not a particularly religious person, but if anything could provide spiritual contentment in this crazy society of ours, certainly the unspoiled grandeur of nature is up to the task. Despite humanity's best efforts to ruin it.

Today is the closing show of Mamma Mia at the Vallejo high school I've been playing at this week. I'm here quite early in town, on purpose, to enjoy a relaxing picnic lunch in Benicia State Park. A place I've never been before.

It's been great to have an excuse to pull out the Ibanez bass guitar and play again. Though it's been a whirlwind of a week. One rehearsal run through and then opening night. And it's not the easiest of musical books either. Doubly so if you haven't touched your instrument in a couple years. Yes, a second rehearsal would have been quite beneficial. Despite the tiresome drive of 60 miles one way to get here. But it is what it is.

It's been fun, as it's fun music to play, and just in general fun to BE playing again. Even if it's just a small-time high school production. There was a time when I'd do 4 shows a year. Or 5. Or 6. And they were all four-weekend runs. Generally a dozen performances per show. But those days are past, just a distant memory now. Some of those companies don't even exist anymore, most notably Runaway Stage Productions, whom I played and directed with a lot. Now just having one week of a show, for me, is a rare treat.

So it will be bittersweet today as we close out the run with our fourth performance, and our first and only matinee. And even though it's 'just' a high school production staged in their cafetorium, it's been rewarding for me. Seeing that I CAN in fact still play, still be a valuable asset to a show. So I'll miss this one. Though I won't miss the commute.

How long will it be till I play again? Who knows, who knows.

Trip Around the Sun

Here I am on the eve of my birthday, the eve of Cesar Chavez Day as well. It was nice of the state of California to grant a holiday on my birthday. What better present than to get an extra day off, or in the case of this year, a three day weekend. And tomorrow's my birthday.

This has been my 44th trip around the sun on this pale blue dot of ours. 44. It's just a number of course, and the numbers themselves have had little meaning but to denote the slow progress of time. But my how time has passed.

Some days it seems like only yesterday since I was a young, introverted, and socially awkward teenager starting off at college and into a brand new chapter of life. And some days it's amazing how many chapters have come and gone. Today's college students, the people I see and work with everyday, weren't even born yet when I first stepped foot at Sac State. Think about that.

Today was a busy day with a Golden Empire festival at school and Connor's final basketball game of the winter season. He made 4 baskets, including one as time expired at the end of the game. He's really come a long way. But I'm tired now from the long day today coupled with the long day yesterday with three concerts and festival setup. And yesterday started at 2:30am when Connor suddenly got sick and threw up all over his bed. And the wall. And the floor. And then he was fine and slipped back into peaceful slumber as I was left to clean the mess. The perks of extreme youth.

Up at 2:30am. Work till 8:30pm. Up at 5:30am. Work till 6:00pm. Oh well. Time is just numbers. Just another day, another weekend, another week, another month.

Another year.

Time is a friend to no one, really. It doesn't care who you are. It marches on and on, like a robotic army, ever nearer to and yet so distant from its final destination. Or at least we hope it's still far away from it's final destination. So what have I accomplished in this latest romp around the solar system? I have to pause and think about that. I don't really know. Just floating along and observing the ride I suppose. And on it goes.

Here's to starting another trip around the sun.

Valentine’s Eve

Here it is, the night before Valentine's Day. Tomorrow there'll be people going giddy over the gifts and plans bestowed upon them by their significant others. And there will be those who proudly proclaim that it isn't really a holiday anyway. And there will be those who remind us that we shouldn't just show our affections one day out if the year. Not that people will listen.

This is the first time in, I don't know, 20 some years that I'm single. Without any romantic interest, as it were. It's a little strange, a little surreal I suppose. I'm not entirely sure what to do about it. Or if I should do anything. I'm not really used to not being "with" someone. But, I think, that's okay.

Maybe we all make too much out of relationships anyway. I mean, when you think about it, they're ultimately a pretty negative thing. Relationships can only end in one of two ways - a breakup or death. There's no other possible outcome. And neither is a positive thing to look forward to. I guess we just have to enjoy the ride as best we can.

So this Valentine's Day, I'm going to spend it laying in bed with my kitties, eating ice cream perhaps, and maybe watching a sappy romantic drama where the boy DOESN'T get the girl in the end. Like, I don't know. Titanic. Or something. It's a plan, of sorts. At least it sounds like an enjoyable evening to me.

Well, if we're not enjoying the ride, what's the point?

Week One: Done

Well the first week is in the books at Sac State. It actually was a pretty okay week. At least, it was fairly uneventful and rather predictable. Lots of students needing their forgotten locker combos, new students needing practice room keys. Faculty wanting to schedule their ensemble rehearsals and move their classrooms around. The usual.

It actually seemed a little slower than normal for a first week. Go figure. Well at least I got caught up on a lot of things I was behind on. Getting calendar stuff up to date. Scheduling things with the university. Getting staff work schedules out.

As an aside, I have the largest student staff I've ever had at 6 people, plus one additional swing person. And February is the slowest month, concert wise. Yet I'm having trouble getting everything fully scheduled around everyone's busy schedules. Maybe I need to hire more people.

Anyways, it's Saturday night, and as is typical with a weekend day with Connor, I spent an inordinate amount of time today at the park and watching Connor's favorite YouTube videos of families playing with their kids (Yeager Family anyone?).

If this all seems like rambling, well, it is. That's me now, apparently. A middle age single father rambling on and on about normal day to day activities, and recording them here for all posterity.

Maybe I should start a YouTube channel. I could be famous.

Semester Eve

Well here it is, the night before the start of the spring semester. Winter break is officially over. Usually the breaks seem to fly right by, and are over before I have a chance to blink. This one was draining and seemed to drag on. Not that I'm glad it's over. I'm never glad it's over. But mostly i think that's because I don't want to go back to work full time.

The spring semester is as usual a busy one at Sac State. I suppose that's a blessing, since the time there does move faster when it's busy. In this my 40th semester working there, I feel more than ever just burnt out. I'm tired. I don't really want to go back to it. I kind of want to travel. To explore. To enjoy the beauty that still can be found in the world. To find myself. Am I lost? Maybe, maybe.

I recall my last trip to San Francisco and the calm serenity of walking along the beach. Staring at the ocean waves. Watching the flocks of tiny birds running away from the incoming wave, running towards the receding waves. Not a care in the world. For me, I mean, not the birds. Of walking the city streets in the early morning just before sunrise. Watching the world come alive.

I want to go for a walk right now, one last breath of fresh air and peace around the surrounding neighborhood, such as it is. I can't though, as I have Connor this week and I can't very well leave a sleeping 5 year old home alone with the cats.

So I'm at home laying in bed and watching Lady Bird, a coming of age film that doubles as an homage to Sacramento. At least I get to see some sights of the city in it.

Tomorrow it will be back to the rat race. I'm sure I'll be inundated with all manner of returning students needing to be reminded of their locker combos and new students needing to be indoctrinated into the system of lockers and practice room keys and the general bureaucracy of college life. Should be...fun?

At least it should be busy enough to go quickly.

Well anyways, at next light it will be off to the races. I think I'll retire early tonight and enjoy this last evening of "freedom" in dreamland.